Year of the Tiger

So how was everyone's CNY?

It didn't hit me until I sat down just now and counted, but this is the 6th consecutive Chinese New Year I've spent in England, away from family and ang pows. I thought it was only the 5th, but no. I started university in the autumn on 2004, so this does make the 6th.

I was 20 the last time I celebrated CNY with my family.

It's a bit scary, how time flies. Initially, for the first few CNYs, I was glad to be away from home, to not have to force smiles and call out pleasant greetings/wishes at extended family and distant relatives that I don't know much about and don't much speak to. Yes, it was interesting for a while to hear who is dating now, who has been kicked out of college, who got who up the duff. But it was just a fleeting curiosity - I soon lose interest, because it's really about as interesting as hearing other people talk about what happened on Big Brother. I don't watch it, I don't know the contestants, therefore I don't give a hoot about who did what when and where. Even if it's juicy and scandalous and gossip-worthy, why do I care? These people mean nothing to me.

My parents would be scandalised to hear that last bit - I can almost hear them now, saying something along the lines of, "They're your blood family!"

I think my interest in CNY and family gatherings waned when I found out how two-faced some of them are. CNY is about wishing people well and prosperous for the new year, but why would I wish people well when I don't like them? For the money? No thanks. The only people I care about and will wish well are my immediate family and Boy's immediate family. Actually, Boy's cousins seem quite nice and friendly too, so they're okay by my book. My cousins? Ugh. No.

Actually, I should be honest. The only "ugh-y, no" cousins are mainly from the paternal family side, the two-faced backstabbing aunts and uncles side. The ones who boasted about themselves like they're gifts from the gods. The ones who wouldn't bat an eyelid when they turn their backs on you if you're ever in need. The only ones I've gotten anywhere near close with is my father's oldest sister and her daughter A, who housed me for ten days whilst I was in Singapore way back when. They were really nice and generous to me (but there are stories that go deeper than this). But again, they live in Singapore, a good five hours away from where I used to live (and about a gazillion miles away from where I currently live, which is worse, I guess).

The aunts, uncles and cousins from the maternal side of the family are actually really friendly. It's a shame that I don't see much of them because there is a huge age-gap between me and them usually (most of them are in their 30s now) and they live in Klang Valley area their whole lives and I've lived in the east coast of the peninsular my whole life (until college and England, that is).

At this moment though, I'm not sure if I miss celebrating CNY or I'm still glad to be away from all that hassle. Enough time has passed for me to think "It's not that bad, surely" and that time may have distorted my view of things/events, but something at the back of my mind still reminds me that there was a very good reason why I like it here and it probably is still valid.

One thing's different this year though - my mother has yet to tell Brother #3 to pass on the message of how this year is going to be for me, the Wood Rat! :P